i went out with many today.. n ya.. i loved them.. becox they are always cheering me up.. hmm.. i never slp much too.. ytd talked on msn with someone until i puke blood.. damn pek chek liao.. sigh.. den some more i tot i was able to rest after i console her.. but.. things weren't easy to solve.. to i manage to rest at 3 plus AM! haha.. den chat on phone with some papamia.. ya.. den go bed le.. finally.. haha.. okay.. this afternoon went airport den eat slack.. n ya.. jamie siao arh... n jy too.. see each other jiu laugh like mental retard.. haha.. ya.. so we went to cityhall meet sl lo.. yup.. went to eat long johns n played pool.. hhahah!! someone suck at it.. nvm.. haha.. slowly learn huh.. hmm.. yup.. den all went home left me sl n jy.. so we ate ice cream n slack at esplanade.. yup.. den talk things out.. den i took bus home alone.. hmm.. tot alot of things today... stoned like very long.. and negative thoughts about her too.. almost break down to tears in front of them.. haha.. hmm... im weak man... haix.. however.. i manage to call someone for a talk.. she told me not to think so much.. haha.. so i tried lor.. ya.. kinda rejected her help.. becox she wanted to come my house find me. but i dun think its a good idea..haha..

do u know u mean smth to me? i kept my hopes with u.. i am sorry that i cannot tell u the truth that i love u.. but i did try to show i cared for u.. i can't explain the feeling for u.. becox its so special.. i may be hurt.. but at least i did not replace u with someone else.. i felt the pain okay? when u told me things that crushed my heart totally into bits.. when u are upset.. i will try my best to console u n cheer u up.. yet u gave me a hint tat u dun need me but someone else.. will u tell me whats going on? u treat me hot n cold. i cannot put u first. not even last.. i can't leave u behind my heart.. becox i dun deny i have feelings for u.. i really hope u will cheer up n be happy.. even if u left me for others.. u happy jiu hao.. okay? i felt like calling u juz now.. but my hands were cold.. i dropped a tear.. i cruelly told myself u are happy with him. u dun need my concern.. goodbye.. im leaving u behind.. not becox i have others that i love.. but its becox i dun wanna hold a hopeless relationship with u.. i dun even wanna wait for hope to appear.. even if u cry now. i will promise to give u a tissue like a friend do.. bye... months ago i wanted to ask u back.. but i found out i am juz being naive n stupid.. i told u i no longer had feelings with u its becox i dun wan u to be trapped in a dilemma between me n him. i leave u alone.. the feeling a year ago is now gone. i can no longer cry for u.. im starting anew.. goodbye.. lamaie

Labels: upset but yet smiling for everyone. im seriously emotional recently.