Wearing the clothes that you liked,
I walk along the road where I was with you.
If even by coincidence, you happen to meet me,
So that you may regret throwing me away

There is a person who will only love me,
a good person to anyone's eyes.
He will be beside me, to protect me,
Instead of you.

Everyone says I look happy
Because I have a better love than you,
it's a good thing, they say.
To that person, it's a thing to be sorry for forever,
This is just my love, to make you suffer.

You only look at me with a pure heart,
This good person is loving me, caring for me,
instead of you.

Everyone says I look happy
Because I have a better love than you,
it's a good thing, they say.
To that person, it's a thing to be sorry for forever,
This is just my love, to make you suffer.

If you see me, my happy state,
please suffer.
I hope you live to cry,
and regret throwing me away,

Even though I smile, my heart is crying.
I hope that you would be in pain, but I'm suffering even more.
I tell myself I'm happy, that I can be happier
Even though I try to fool my heart,
it won't listen.






feeling:



This 2 weeks i shall do nth but to make notes and practice my exam well. i cannot afford to drop this round. Now lets talk abt you. well, these few weeks i've made known to myself that i still need u to be around. even when times i whine, u're still here. i cannot imagine u to leave me for others. perhaps thats still love? idk. guess what, every single time u dont reply, or fall aslp, im always afraid smth happen to you..>< sigh.. i am just someone who dont show my feelings. so i'll be going chengdu, will u miss me? will u have me replaced? haha. From the day we broke up, i didnt want to leave u at all. i was in denial if u could tell. if i were to go, why would i still ask for yr embrace?.... sometimes i feel myself being a burden too. i may lost u oneday i know. becox right now arent u tired of this game? my patience is no longer for u.. i am aware of it. every lil things i get irritated with u. but i would still want to share my best food and thigns with u. i really dont know what to do next. u are everything which revolves and makes me smile. why did things turn out like this? where's our road we were suppose to walk tgt? feelings need to stop fading.. we need to love again.. perhaps after some time, we might make up our mind. babe, can u let me feel that beat for u once again? i miss u.................


I can't bear to let u go now. And while I Was fighting this, feelings did fade becox back then u didn't let me feel that my leaving would change u. What's the reason that I am holding on? I am afraid no one will have this special love feeling, no one will dote and drive by with cab everytime I need them. I feel bliss and happiness. U gave me the innocent love and happiness within while I handle the cruel society and our issues. I should be more appreciative. But right now, things are getting worst, I am fighting time to be with u secretly yet not to disappoint them. These days when I fought to be with u, learning to know the leaving of u makes me grow more love and tOlerance towards u. Don't ask me when will I leave or how do I feel now. If I have a choice, I would ignore u and make u hate me. But I don't know how to start.Meanwhile, this family pressure will increase whenever they see anything abt us. I shouldn't have tested her tolerance and I could be less pressured.


What should i do now? was i selfish? but right from the start, i was straight and i changed. now to think of our 8months tgt, i feel a crash upon my heart. how am i suppose to lie abt this feeling to you when you will find out eventually? besides i tot we had an argreement of honesty and intergrity when we were tgt. I tot of making our love life more interesting by learning to aprreciate you. yes maintaining a rls is really tough especially when we are of the same sex. but i never gave up. so what am i suppose to do now? i still love you, can u allow me to sort my thoughts out first? the last thing i wanna do is to be selfish and leave you, becox i always knew u were special. you may think that i dont accept for who u are now, but i really did for the past 9 months tgt. i was really happy with you. you might not know how much its tearing me apart, becox while i say this, i hurt myself more. should i stay and fight till our love diminishes to zero?


Didn't manage to see you for almost 3 days. And I do miss you even though you're just 9numbers away. I has this war in my head to fly over and look for you in RP while I skip my EOC lesson but I have to keep in mind that studies is my priority. Thus I'm staying and bearing till 4pm! :)
Not confident in sales. Not confident in this sem. Not confident what my life will be.